Naruto vs Akatsuki! But With a Twist?
by OsuwariKawaii
Summary: What happens when Naruto comes to your house, wanting you to help him find his team? With Akatsuki on your tails? And also, what happens when a type of trust forms and a truce is in sight? Unlikely? Yes. Impossible? NOPE! Genres: Adventure/Romace/Humor.
1. Naruto?

**Hehe... guess I really have too much time on my hands. But, who really cares?**

**The heroine of this new fiction is Richelle. Um... so yeah. People like unusual names... I hope.**

**Disclaimer:** No, just... no.

**~X~**

I sat on my bed, my camo pajama pants dangling loosely around my legs, a tie-dye T-shirt covering my torso. I was having trouble falling asleep, so I had cooked up some Maruchan instant ramen, which I was absentmindedly twirling my plastic fork through. Looking into the bowl with half lidded eyes, I retrieved some its contents and slurped some of the heated lengths into my mouth.

An urgent knock at my door made me jump while my head instantly snapped up in the direction of the noise. Grimacing at the broth that slipped out of the bowl and landed conveniently on my thigh, I set it down. Reluctantly leaving my makeshift meal, I went over to answer the door.

When I opened it, I stared at the figure before me. Naruto Uzumaki, bloodied and bruised, was leaning against the door frame. His trademark orange jump suit fitting him in odd ways since bits and pieces of it were torn.

"Ma'am, can you let me in, please?" he begged in between pained pants. Mouth agape, I stared at the blond, mind running in over time to process everything. Sighing, I let him in. I moved a chair so he could sit down, all the while wondering how the hell Naruto- _the real_ Naruto Uzumaki- was in _this_ world. My world. Y'know, the one were anime characters don't exist.

"Are you okay?" I questioned, knowing I would get made fun of by some comedian. _Of course, everything's just peachy! What do you think!_

He grit his teeth. "The Akatsuki caught me off guard and ambushed me," he explained, staring straight ahead and avoiding direct eye contact. I tensed.

"The... Akatsuki?" I looked at the Jinchūriki. Said Jinchūriki nodded.

"Yeah." He answered. Just then, an idea sparked in my mind.

"Wait here!" I ordered. Receiving no answer, I took off running to my kitchen, grabbing a cup of Maruchan and opening it, before rushing over to the sink and waiting for the water to fill to the line. After that, I sprinted to the bathroom to get medical supplies. Thank God that I had learned some medical procedures. But of course I wasn't a medical nin like Tsunade or Sakura, but I'm sure I had enough knowledge to do _something_.

I rushed back into the kitchen again, popping the cup on hardened noodles with water into the microwave before setting the timer and pressing _START_. Wasting no time, I marched into the living room and pulled out the couch/bed and then with all the strength a sleep deprived teen has, moved the boy to the bed.

After he got situated in both a comfortable for him and manageable position for myself, I unzipped his jacket. When he sat there like a lump, I gave him an all knowing head nod. Taking the hint, he took off his shirt.

The wounds sprawled across his chest varied from mere bruises to gashes, which ranged in sizes and shapes. Mind lost in concentration, I got out an opaque, brown bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide. Pouring a small amount of the clear liquid onto a wash cloth, I began to dab every cut lightly, until I came to a deep wound in his side. Honestly, it was hard to look at.

Dead, white blood cells were slowly oozing out of the long gash in the form of pus.

Turning the cloth over, I ran back to the kitchen to retrieve a bowl of hot water. Grabbing a large bowl, I made my way over to the sink, and once it was nearly full, I shut off the back to the boy, I dropped the cloth into the water, rinsing out the blood and used Peroxide. By the time it was fairly clean, it had already turned the water a cloudy red.

Taking a deep breath, I readied the bottle. "Naruto, this may hurt a little," I warned. He chuckled.

"I've had worse," he boasted. I laughed.

"I can tell." I poured the liquid straight onto the gash, seeing it foam and bubble. Naruto winced, then started gripping the bed.

"Ow, this does hurt," he whined. Sighing, I used the wash rag to dab and wash up the rest of the injured areas. I also ran it over his face, cleaning the corner of his mouth first; freeing it from a crimson stain. His mouth was soon followed by the rest of his face, which had dirt lightly sprinkled everywhere.

Grabbing bandages (gauze wraps) out of the duffle bag, I ordered him to sit up carefully. He complied, and I wrapped the gauze around the cleaned wound. Normal bandages went on the rest of the minor injuries.

"You feeling better?" I asked. He nodded. At that point, the microwave buzzed. I left momentarily to retrieve it. He should heal soon from the Kyuubi's chakra, I thought as I popped open the door to the microwave open.

After getting it out, I pulled the paper lid off all the way and as I was tossing the label into the trash, I grabbed another plastic fork.

Turning around, I but accidentally bumped into Naruto. His near-innocent eyes stared into my light teal hues, a serious expression strewn across his features.

"Naruto? Are you okay?" I asked, wondering what was wrong.

"How... how did you know my name?" he suddenly demanded. I thanked all holy objects through history that his eyes stayed blue.

"Um..."_ Well, you see, you're actually the main character of a popular anime and manga, called Naruto. Then, seeing as you are now, this must have happened in Shippuden. A lot of people throughout the globe know you, and everyone you know, and then some! So, sadly, you're just ink on paper. _"You look like you could be a Naruto." Damn, that was cheesy.

He relaxed a bit, his breathing regulating.

"Ma'am, can I please know your name?" I looked up at him. Damn, he's taller than me.

"Richelle," I replied. He smiled.

"Well then, Richelle-chan," Naruto began, "we should find the rest of my team!"

"N-Naruto! You need to heal!" I stuttered. The blond looked down at me, then moving his jacket aside, lifting the gauze wrap to reveal a mere, small scab.

_So fast... usually it took him about ten minutes or so to heal, let alone a wound that deep..._

"Heh, look at that," the blond boasted, smiling.

"Yep, now sit," I commanded. The Jinchūriki looked at me funny, then saw the container in my hands. He then dove for the wooden chair, sitting at the table eagerly like a kid waiting to either: get his/her allowance (if they are like Kakuzu, the scrooge), waiting for desert, only to cause chaos (Tobi), or getting a new task (Naruto in the Hokage's room).

I set the thing on the table, tending to the puddle of broth in the microwave plate.

Suddenly, my feet fumbled, and I fell onto the uncomfortable tile. The adreniline I once had was gone, left only with a natural sedative. It all would have been fine and dandy if: the tile wasn't cold, it wasn't hard as a rock, and I didn't land on my stomach. That hurts, man!

**Meh, I hope you liked it, because I thought I wandered around too much on the healing process, but I still hope you like it... *looks around* BELIEVE IT!**

**Please review.**

**And, ErinEhmazing edited, so credits to her for making this shiz here better.**** (Though she didn't edit the very last paragraph ;D )**

**THANK YOU, ERIN-SAN! :D**


	2. Akatsuki Formation: DeiKisaIta?

**Hehe, hi again! I hope you liked the first chapter, and I hope you like this one as well! :D**

**Now to answer some reviews!**

_**ALL CHAPTER ONE FOR OBVIOUS REASONS**_

**miragechick2- **He is cute. But that's what makes him... *looks around* somewhat hot.

**Akatsuki's a bang- **Hehe, yup! Just because there are so many Naruto's out there in the world! :D

**ErinEhmazing- **Well, I had to add the last paragraph because it would seem lame if it just left off with cleaning up a puddle in the microwave. And thank you for editing! :D

**Darcy of Akatsuki- **Why thank you! *_insert fail curtsy and falling off stage here_*

**Now, let's begin, shall we?**

**Disclaimer:** No. Fuck. You. Lawyers.

**~X~**

I awoke with wind pushing my hair behind me and something orange and warm in front of me. My eyes opened all the way. I was straddling a teenage boy's back, his arms looping under my legs.

Then, like a major bitch slap, it hit me.

Naruto was in this world. Déjà vu anyone?

"Naruto, where are we going?" I asked. He looked over his shoulder, his happy blue orbs looking into mine.

"To find the rest of my team, dattebayo!" he responded, all the while smiling his trademark smile (besides his bright orange jumpsuit). My spine shivered, like someone was staring at me. It was an uncomfortable feeling.

As if knowing what I was going through, he retreated into a well-lit alley, because no one in Texas would notice a strange looking teen taking to the alleys with a girl on his back. Sure thing, buddy.

We came to a stop, and I crawled off the blond, moving to a fence. Three figures appeared in black over coats (bad choice in this climate), red clouds traced in white sewn along them. Oh. My. Fucking. God.

"Oi, we found the Kyuubi, un!" the blond (and shortest, but only slightly) stated. Oh dear. Deidara.

"Hn," the second tallest one said simply. Itachi Uchiha.

"Took us long enough," the tallest one mused. Kisame Hoshigake. Naruto shot me a look telling me to lie low, though I wanted to take my chances at using the good ol' teeth in the shoulder. But against bombs, Giant Popsicle- I mean Samehada, and the Sharingan (and power of the weasels, but shh!), I'd have no chance. Damn you, Kishimoto.

"Kyuubi," Itachi began in his (in?)famous monotone. Naruto stiffened, fighting the Nine Tails from controlling him. Itachi pointed his index at the blond teen, and I myself felt myself tense, and tremble in the least. I remembered this gesture. Naruto was caught in Itachi's genjutsu (again). "Come with us."

A shadow clone appeared beside him, making a blue sphere. He then charged at a direction, thrusting his hand towards air.

"N-Na..." Words wouldn't leave my lips. Was I caught in his illusion too? No, it was fear. Pure terror in being in the presence with the man who (out of orders) slaughtered his clan, the man who killed his class to prove worthy of the title of shinobi, and the man who stole the Stone Village's kinjutsu.

For a moment I allowed my mind to space out and forget all I had to lose with these people.

Running, I noticed Naruto running towards me with the Rasengan in his hand. He must have seen me as Itachi then. I ducked out of the way, rolling as I did. After getting up, I was now right in front of Kisame, those gold-rimmed hues of his looking down at me, a toothy smirk dancing across his mouth. My teal eyes widened as that smirk grew bigger. I felt myself shaking, my feet gluing to the dirt ground.

_Dammit! Dammit all! Move, me! Move your ass! __**MOVE, ME, YOU SON OF A SCONE!**_ (Don't ask)

His arm moved, and that little voice in my head started screaming.

"What a weak little kid, ne, Itachi-san?" Kisame chuckled. A growl escaped my throat.

"No _way, _you oversized sushi roll!" I declared, ramming the top of my head into his gut. I at least got a grunt out of him, until he yanked my up by my brown hair so I could be eye level with him.

"Oversized sushi roll, eh?" His beady eyes narrowed. I scowled, dangling uselessly in the air.

"Let. Me. Go. Mother. Fucker," I growled, glarring daggers and imaginary lightning at him.

Kisame and Deidara chuckled. Then I smiled. I was in range to the man's nose. I had a pretty hard forehead. Surely you can put two and two together.

"She sounds like Hidan, un," Deidara laughed.

"This. Is-" I began to mumble.

"Eh? This is what?" Kisame demanded. I began to laugh manically.

"_Sparta!_" I screamed, headbutting Kisame's nose. The bridge broke under the pressure, crimson blood gushing out. I was dropped, where as I fell right to my knees.

"Rgh, Rasengan!" Turning to the son of the fourth Hokage, I saw that red gleam in his eyes. He kept them trained on an unseeable object evading each of his attacks. I had gotten up and ran towards the troubled blond, only for Itachi Itchy-Ha (as I nicknamed them... especially Madara) to appear in front of me in a collection of dull black crows.

"Get the hell outta my way!" I ordered, charging past him. He fizzled out, almost as a mere hologram. Several Itachi's were scattered among the alley, crows detaching from each of them and turning into sharp shuriken. I bit my lip to the point where it bled, squeezing my eyes shut in case this wasn't genjutsu.

No pain came, other than my lip. Gathering enough courage, I opened my eyes, looking around me. Naruto was running towards me again, the giant Rasengan ready. _Forgive me for this, and here's hopin' you won't remember it._

Everything happened so fast. He charged, I ducked, he thrusted, I pulled back my fist, the sphere expanded, and I drew my fist to his gut.

_Naruto's POV_

I prepared my giant Rasengan and charged towards the Itachi that seemed solid. With wide eyes, he ducked right as I shot out my arm, watching it expand. Itachi then punched me in the gut, hard, but not enough to knock me breathless.

Then, Itachi blurred and changed colors and shape, taking on the form of Richelle-chan, her color- that of which represented Shikamaru's- and light teal irises. She had slatters of blood along her cheek, but I could tell it wasn't hers.

"Naruto?" she asked. The red, blurred images cleared up, and I could see Itachi Uchiha, Kisame Hoshigake of the Seven Swordsmen, and Deidara, the bastard who killed Gaara.

"I was caught in the genjutsu again, wasn't I?" I asked. She nodded.

_Richelle's POV_

Suddenly, all three shinobi's headbands caught the harsh sunlight.

"We've almost got him, he's in plain sight," Itachi said in, again, monotone.

"Yes, yes, we'll hurry. But there's one problem," Kisame added. A pause, and I guessed Pain or Pein or whatever you want his name to be spelled. I'm sticking with Pain, because that's what my videogame says! So there! "Some girl without any signs of chakra. Almost as easy to break like a twig, but she's persistent."

Standing up, I walked over to Deidara's side, a smile spread across my lips like butter on toast.

"_Dominoes!_" I declared, slamming into Deidara's center of gravity with all of my weight, sending him into Itachi, and Itachi into Kisame. Soon there was a small pile of Akatsuki members. But there's downsides to that.

I was on top of all of them. And, no, not in the seme way. Like, the top of a dog pile.

Yanking me by my arm, Naruto and I started running.

"Baka!" he scolded once we were out of earshot. I remained silent. "You had no chance against the Akatsuki! Yet you went in like a bigger fool than me!" The anger in his voice rang out, clear as a bell. But also, concern weaved through each emotion. I remained silent as I kept running, scanning the area for anyone from Team Kakashi.

"True as it might be, I'm a good strategist. I plan ahead. I know them almost from the inside out," I said. He stared at me, but then stopped near a grocery store, a smirk playing his face. Sighing, I reached into my pocket, grabbing ten dollars. Time for Naruto's first adventure in the store full of normal people.

God help us all.

**Yeah, please review! Oh and sorry, ErinEhmazing that I didn't let you edit this one, but the next one I'll need a ton of help with!**

**REVIEW! :D**


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